Everything you know about balance is wrong

Maybe it's been a good week or maybe you're completely drained. If it's the latter, I feel your pain.

Sometimes it's my four-year-old daughter's newly strident sense of independence. Sometimes it's not enough sleep, too may Zoom calls, not enough time outside.

Whatever it is for you this week, let's bust 3 big myths about balance—especially the ones keeping you stuck.

Myth 1: "Once I find balance, I'll stop being stressed"

...not quite. Life will always have stress triggers, regardless of what my job is or how much I meditate. What changes is how long it throws me for a loop—how quickly I can reconnect with my sense of humor, curiosity, and (self) compassion. And how quickly I reset really does change as I become more "balanced."

There's a Buddhist saying: "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." The stress and work if life doesn't disappear. You just relate to it differently. Btw, this is what is how I think of it... 😝

Drawing by Liz Fosslien

Myth 2: "It's all in my head"

Yes and no. Our thinking loops are key to balance, and they often go on autopilot, especially the negative ones, because we're biologically wired to remember negative experiences more readily than positive ones. But we often forget that our minds and bodies are deeply connected.

And sometimes, especially in those really strong negative loops, you need to start with your body, not your thoughts.

Spending time in nature is one of the most powerful resets for your body-mind because it works on a multi-sensory physical level, lowers your cortisol (stress hormone), and that allows you to re-ground and reconnect mentally.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good, sweaty workout either - especially when you’re overthinking things or feeling more distracted.

Because mind and body are connected, you can get out that extra mental energy with a good workout, and that creates space for new thoughts as well.

Myth 2: "Balance is impossible, so stop trying"

Bullshit.

Just because life has ups and downs, doesn’t mean balance is impossible.

Whenever I get stuck in that lie, which is tempting, I like to take a step back and take a longer time horizon.

There are different seasons of life, and sometimes balance feels impossible - like if you have a new baby and no longer have time for yourself, or you’re under lots of pressure at work with high-stress projects.

These times always feel like they'll last forever. Yet when I pause, I can remember that it’s actually temporary. It's easy to be caught up in the misperception that this is the way life will always feel - and if I fall for that misperception, balance feels impossible.

But you can train yourself to shift your time horizon - which then builds inner reserves of resilience and balance, even in the impossible periods. That's what makes the difference.

The takeaway: Finding your balance, especially during a leadership transition (where I focus most of my professional work) isn’t as impossible or serious as you think it is, but it does take practice, perspective, and lots of self-compassion. 🙂

Try this: I created a short, guided meditation to help you let go of your "shoulds" (like "I should be more balanced" 😉) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keq8yDjtnek

Rooting for you!

Allie

Strategic Leadership Coach | Transition Partner | CEO

Helping leaders navigate change, empower teams, and create meaningful impact without burning out

"The little things? The little moments? They aren't little." - Jon Kabat Zinn